Music
If music be the food of love...
21/10/08 18:16
During my never-ending adult education, I once had the gift of an amazing teacher. The name in which he published was R. D Laing. He was a clever, insightful, perceptive, wonderful, loving, radical and often unruly man. He was a psychiatrist of the best sort. Like many who are sensitive, perceptive and gifted, he may have drowned his emotions in excess and drink from time-to-time. A search on “Google” will tell you more about him. I knew him as Ronnie. For a year, he was my psychotherapy tutor. Sadly he died from a heart attack a couple of years later. I missed him.
I struggled with all this "talk" psychotherapy stuff. So I asked Ronnie one day, how one might tell what someone else was truly feeling. They may not say after all. They might not know the truth of how they felt themselves. He replied, “That’s simple, laddie.” He made me laugh. He always called me “laddie”. “Find out what music they’re listening to. That will tell you how they feel soon enough.”
He went on to tell me that if the music didn’t help me, then I should get them to write stories. If that failed, I should ask them to paint pictures, but never to rely on talk, if I wanted to discover their true emotions.
This post is inspired by and dedicated to a friend, a fellow abuse recoverer. She lives over 5,000 miles away. Last night, I was deeply concerned for her. Today, having heard what music she listened to last night, I feel so much better, if not envious. I would have enjoyed that same music too.
Ronnie’s wisdom about music, though simple, is profoundly true. Music is a powerful connection in our lives. It says deep things about us as people. It crosses nations, politics and social divides. I feel true to Ronnie’s view to this day. Music also tells me about another person and how I might feel about them, even whether we’d get on. Think about it. So you love Mozart, Bach and Joni Mitchell, whom she hates. She loves Whitney Houston, Metallica and Westlife. Better think again. What more can I say?
I struggled with all this "talk" psychotherapy stuff. So I asked Ronnie one day, how one might tell what someone else was truly feeling. They may not say after all. They might not know the truth of how they felt themselves. He replied, “That’s simple, laddie.” He made me laugh. He always called me “laddie”. “Find out what music they’re listening to. That will tell you how they feel soon enough.”
He went on to tell me that if the music didn’t help me, then I should get them to write stories. If that failed, I should ask them to paint pictures, but never to rely on talk, if I wanted to discover their true emotions.
This post is inspired by and dedicated to a friend, a fellow abuse recoverer. She lives over 5,000 miles away. Last night, I was deeply concerned for her. Today, having heard what music she listened to last night, I feel so much better, if not envious. I would have enjoyed that same music too.
Ronnie’s wisdom about music, though simple, is profoundly true. Music is a powerful connection in our lives. It says deep things about us as people. It crosses nations, politics and social divides. I feel true to Ronnie’s view to this day. Music also tells me about another person and how I might feel about them, even whether we’d get on. Think about it. So you love Mozart, Bach and Joni Mitchell, whom she hates. She loves Whitney Houston, Metallica and Westlife. Better think again. What more can I say?
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